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6.14.2011

[tuesday talks] - don't forget you.

It's not to leave you that I'm goin'
I'm just goin' to be alone
{c. simon}

I’m feeling under the gun lately. Managing my  mornings of making breakfast, creating a school lunch, filling the backpack – getting dressed, getting Annie dressed – We all do it,  dashing out the door or catching the bus – making that appointment – getting to your desk on time. Making sure you’re home to meet that bus, pick up at school, bring to ballet, bring to soccer, pick up that birthday present, drop off that package at the post office – do this, do that, buy this, buy that, call her, call him, leave a message, pay that bill, write that down, don’t forget it. Edit those photos, create beauty at that session, hug your child, hug your partner, hug  yourself.  Oooops!!! That’s what I always forget to do, hug myself. Take time for myself. Every morning I say, ok today is the day I will take 30 minutes and just sit in the sun, or just read that book a little bit on my lunch hour, or make a point to go for a walk after dinner or make it to that spin class. Just for me. And each night when I turn the lights out I think it happened again, I am not nurturing myself. I am putting myself on the back burner and with all the positive energy I give to everyone else I completely and totally ignore me. And it’s not working anymore. I find I snap a bit more. I’m a bit overwhelmed, the patience is gone and I find that because I’m not doing for me, I can more easily ignore me because well,  I’m tired.  Tired from lack of exercising, tired from lack of stimulation in the form of an adult conversation or laughing loud and hearty with a friend, or forgetting about keeping up with the Joneses and just trying to keep up with me. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother, I love being a photographer, I love making connections with people but I also love myself and I really don’t love who I have become as of late. I used to feel a bit more whimsical and I miss that. I used to feel freer and lighter - I used to sing more and be spontaneous. I used to not care what others thought, I used to be in tune with myself, my soul song. I know it's all in there. I feel it knocking on my hearts door wanting to be let out again to play. So I am challenging myself to not forget myself. And I challenge you to not forget you. Take some time go get a pedicure, go sit in the sun, stick your toes in the sand, listen to your heart for just 30 minutes – breathe deep. Take a drive with the windows down and the music loud.  And don’t feel guilty either. That’s not allowed!  I just know if we all put ourselves first for once we just might be surprised with how easily everything else falls into place. I know, I know – easier said than done. But I’m ignoring the laundry today and I am going to ignore my computer for a while – before the rain falls here in Boston (again), I am taking some time to go breathe some fresh air – I'm going to listen to the rhythm of the world. I’m just going to think. Think about nothing. Think about everything. Think about me. xo

highway bokeh
gorgeous image by Bevelry Lefevre Photography

6 comments:

  1. Love this! Thanks for the reminder... I'm off on a mental outing to sink my feet (not my head) in the sand and enjoy the fresh sea air. Hugs to you (and me)!

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  2. Perfect essay and gorgeous photo! Thank you!

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  3. I've learned one of the best ways to not stress and to not have my days RUSH by... Is to be fully aware of EVERY moment I'm living. Not to be rushing my mind to the next place I'm going to be. I've found that days go by slower (in a good way), I more fully enjoy every moment with my husband, and I'm not rushing around like a chicken with my head cut off. It's a conscious effort though. And it takes a little time, but boy is it worth it. I'm sure most already do this, but I've also recently discovered how much it helps to put anything I must do in my phone calendar, then I'm not trying to jog my memory on what's next. Be a part of every moment you're living, you may not necessarily have lots of extra time, but it will feel like it just because you're not focused on the next thing. :) Didn't mean to write a novel in response... But I can't cut out anything I said haha

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  4. So true words. I just want to wish you great summer days taking care of yourself. xoxo.

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  5. Meg, you are SO right and I thank you SO much for writing this. It's true that taking some time for ourselves will help everything else fall into place. We'll FEEL better, and as a result, we'll WORK better. Once again, you have written words that I so badly needed to hear. *Let's all breathe... even if it's just for a minute*

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  6. You took the words right out of my head! Beautifully written. Hope you find some "me" time today.

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